Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Adventure Sound Bites

Another installment from a raucous Monday night game.

A: "That's some serious shrinkage."
B: "That's what she said."

"It was an act of wonderful recursion."

"Are you casting acid spash? Or splash his ass?"

A: "I'm going to flank his ass!"
B: "Flank his ass? or Spank his ass?"
A: "Yeah, nothing says hot combat like slapping the lizardman's ass."
(Yeah, we seem to have had a bit of a butt fetish going on last night. Don't ask me why.)

"Note to self – do not do a search for 'nude elves dancing'."

"I'm considering now doing something kind of stupid."

"That dog's gonna eat the shit out of me!"

"Oh, Christ! Singing lizardmen!"

A: "We should have a dance off!"
B: "Yeah, you know what? That's stupid."
A: "Well, that's why you're not a bard!"

"He butt-smacked you!"
(Again with the butts.)

"You'll go to your grave knowing I am the better dancer!"
(Mwa-ha...ha?)

"I don't know what 'glory h...' means. I'm going to google it on your computer."

Finally, inspired by pre-game conversation about the demise of various PCs we've run over the years, and by the singing talents of the party's bard, I've decided to close today's post with a musical number. An oldie but a goodie from Lenny and Ziggy – "Death by Misadventure." Click and enjoy!


Guns and Butter rule, dude!

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Adventure Sound Bites

From last night's game. We are one serious band of miscreants...

"You can get five orcs in a bunch."

"It sucks to be on fire."

"He's in the cleavage between the old elf boobs."

"So I stuff marshmallows on the end of a bunch more arrows."

"Not enough penises."

"A grassy gnoll."

"She becomes infinitely flat."

"Strippers and booze!"




Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Adventure Sound Bites

A short list of sound bites from last night's D&D 5e game. Somehow, a disproportionate amount of banter was devoted to (aimed at?) various game systems.

A: "Savage Worlds sucks monkey balls."
B: "Well, we all agree it's a question of monkey balls, just not necessarily that it applies to Savage Worlds."

"Yeah it's a hybrid. Like Savage Worlds."

"The problem with Hârn is:  I want to take a pee.  – OK, roll to see if you get your d*** stuck in the zipper."

Gurpscart = a giant, rolling caddy to carry all your GURPS books.

PCs react to an in-character GURPS reference...
A: "GURPS? 'Tis a strange word, friend, and not from any language I know."
B: "Bah! It is the sound of a dragon vomiting!"

NPC: "The non-elves may enter, but they must be blindfolded."
PC: "Since I'm a half-elf do I just get an eye patch?"

A: "This guy is really pissing me off."
B: "Lady."
A: "What?"
B: "She's a woman."
A: "Ah. Well, it's hard to tell with elves."

Orchids = little baby orcs.

Said the wizard: "I don't like to cast fireball. It scares me a little."