Firebritches: +1 AC to your groin.
(Not from last night; I found it scribbled in notes from a previous session).
Save vs. Chubby.
(Someone is on a fixation lately, see last week's soundbites).
GM: As you walk through the stirge-infested woods, you see a dead deer, all the blood drained from its lifeless corpse.
Player: Is the deer's nose red?
Player: OK, so it's not Rudolph the Red Nosed Drained Deer.
A: I throw my battle axe.
B: Wow, that'll put hair on the balls of 5E.
Shut up, Tim.
(I'm stealing one of Whisk's Prize Baskets for this one. Three orc ears, a pickled ogre tongue, and a rotten wyvern egg to the first person who can guess who said this.).
I have the gift of blab.
In these woods, the orc is easy.