Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Adventure Soundbites

The Monday Night Ubergoobers are a rowdy bunch. Last night, I came to a realization. We ARE the barbarians in the corner.

Without further delay, here is our latest collection of soundbites.

"I stepped in the demon fungus. Now I have a case of Beelzebub's foot."

"With a combined strength of 34, how far can we toss the gnome?"

"They're fleshy, with no apparent knob."

"It's very smooth without any clear way to work it, like it came from Apple."

"You hit him. And he has some sort of bubbling ooze coming out of the various holes in his body. Like he was shot by Jed Clampett."

At one point a monster swallowed a PC's head with a bite attack. Head and shoulders remained connected, fortunately, and when the combat ended, the PC had lost a level but gained points of WIS and INT. Said the GM: "You did not come out a head."

The PC head incident and the handle-free living doors pretty much led to an entire evening of:  

"Never give head when there a gnome behind you."

"Rub his knob, it's lucky."

"New monster: Knobgoblin."

etc., etc.


  1. Knob. I'm gonna have to use that word in an upcoming post title.

    1. "Waiter there's a knob in my soup?"

    2. Hahahaha. That's right. Poor bastard.

  2. lol...oh man....I still think that Apple one is hilarious.

    1. I laughed about it all day today at work.