"Can you hear me now?"
"Yeah, but you sound like a gnome talking out of a giant's ass."
"Whatever you did just then, do it some more."
Play then got underway. We encountered a series of large, wooden spear traps. Upon triggering one, and knowing what was coming....
"I think I'm gonna get hit by big wood."
"First the wood, and then the penetration."
And so it went. Some crossed obstacles without difficulties:
"Hey I got 16 DEX, babe, I don't need no stinking goat."
Others tumbled to their doom:
"Like a miniature version of the coyote hitting the ground."
Montporte is famous for its toilets – affectionately known as "Montporte-a-potties." These sometimes provoke commentary. Last night this took the form of magic item names that could be entered in Tenkar's "OSR Superstar" competition including:
"Lepetomane's Devious Water Closet"
"Bigby's Wiping Hand"
Along with a variety of others, each more wildly inappropriate than the last, that finally led to the conclusion that if you submitted them:
"Even Tenkar will ban you."
The NPCs of Montporte were in rare form last night as well. The party walks into a room. A humanoid inside looks at us and greets us with:
"What do you want, you miserable sh*t heads?"
We smote him. It was satisfying.
Finally there was the item on the map that looked like a giant sugar cookie in the middle of an alchemical factory:
"Those gnome alchemists were kick-ass bakers."
"Yeah, F*** those elves in the trees, check out these cookies."