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Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Adventure Sound Bites

A short list of sound bites from last night's D&D 5e game. Somehow, a disproportionate amount of banter was devoted to (aimed at?) various game systems.

A: "Savage Worlds sucks monkey balls."
B: "Well, we all agree it's a question of monkey balls, just not necessarily that it applies to Savage Worlds."

"Yeah it's a hybrid. Like Savage Worlds."

"The problem with Hârn is:  I want to take a pee.  – OK, roll to see if you get your d*** stuck in the zipper."

Gurpscart = a giant, rolling caddy to carry all your GURPS books.

PCs react to an in-character GURPS reference...
A: "GURPS? 'Tis a strange word, friend, and not from any language I know."
B: "Bah! It is the sound of a dragon vomiting!"

NPC: "The non-elves may enter, but they must be blindfolded."
PC: "Since I'm a half-elf do I just get an eye patch?"

A: "This guy is really pissing me off."
B: "Lady."
A: "What?"
B: "She's a woman."
A: "Ah. Well, it's hard to tell with elves."

Orchids = little baby orcs.

Said the wizard: "I don't like to cast fireball. It scares me a little."

10 comments:

  1. LOL!.....How much booze do you guys get through during a game?? It must be a lot?? The Ladyboy elf's my fav and the zipper made me think of There's something about Mary....ooouucchh!!

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    1. I decline to answer the booze question on the grounds that I may incriminate myself.

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  2. Glad to see Harn not be forgotten, even if only to be ribbed.

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    1. Not familiar with Harn myself; I only know it by what the other guys in the group say, which is often along the lines of the sound bite. I do like the maps though, which Rob often brings into his games -- they're definitely cool.

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  3. I agree with the wizard. Back in the day, Fireballs were not a thing to be taken lightly. I think my wizard characters caught more than a few allies on fire. I felt bad about all the collateral, except the hit points of damage I inflicted on the party's bard. That guy was an XP leech and had it coming.

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    1. I had a little panic moment last night when Tim announced he was casting it. My character was nearest the target point and I think I nearly shrieked into the microphone something like "Check the range! Check the range! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CHECK THE RANGE!!!!!"

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    2. That being said, yeah, if there's a character in the party who has it coming, then well, just....oops. :)

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    3. I checked the range before hand you Nancy boy. Orius does not take the casting of that spell lightly. Like he said, it scares him a little.

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    4. Ha, you're lucky you're bigger, stronger, and meaner than me, or I'd show you what's what for calling me Nancy boy!

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  4. These were funny. But they usually are. You capture the best bits.

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