Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Adventure Sound Bites

A short list of sound bites from last night's D&D 5e game. Somehow, a disproportionate amount of banter was devoted to (aimed at?) various game systems.

A: "Savage Worlds sucks monkey balls."
B: "Well, we all agree it's a question of monkey balls, just not necessarily that it applies to Savage Worlds."

"Yeah it's a hybrid. Like Savage Worlds."

"The problem with Hârn is:  I want to take a pee.  – OK, roll to see if you get your d*** stuck in the zipper."

Gurpscart = a giant, rolling caddy to carry all your GURPS books.

PCs react to an in-character GURPS reference...
A: "GURPS? 'Tis a strange word, friend, and not from any language I know."
B: "Bah! It is the sound of a dragon vomiting!"

NPC: "The non-elves may enter, but they must be blindfolded."
PC: "Since I'm a half-elf do I just get an eye patch?"

A: "This guy is really pissing me off."
B: "Lady."
A: "What?"
B: "She's a woman."
A: "Ah. Well, it's hard to tell with elves."

Orchids = little baby orcs.

Said the wizard: "I don't like to cast fireball. It scares me a little."


  1. LOL!.....How much booze do you guys get through during a game?? It must be a lot?? The Ladyboy elf's my fav and the zipper made me think of There's something about Mary....ooouucchh!!

    1. I decline to answer the booze question on the grounds that I may incriminate myself.

  2. Glad to see Harn not be forgotten, even if only to be ribbed.

    1. Not familiar with Harn myself; I only know it by what the other guys in the group say, which is often along the lines of the sound bite. I do like the maps though, which Rob often brings into his games -- they're definitely cool.

  3. I agree with the wizard. Back in the day, Fireballs were not a thing to be taken lightly. I think my wizard characters caught more than a few allies on fire. I felt bad about all the collateral, except the hit points of damage I inflicted on the party's bard. That guy was an XP leech and had it coming.

    1. I had a little panic moment last night when Tim announced he was casting it. My character was nearest the target point and I think I nearly shrieked into the microphone something like "Check the range! Check the range! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CHECK THE RANGE!!!!!"

    2. That being said, yeah, if there's a character in the party who has it coming, then well, just....oops. :)

    3. I checked the range before hand you Nancy boy. Orius does not take the casting of that spell lightly. Like he said, it scares him a little.

    4. Ha, you're lucky you're bigger, stronger, and meaner than me, or I'd show you what's what for calling me Nancy boy!

  4. These were funny. But they usually are. You capture the best bits.