I'm channeling my inner Rob.
New spell: Gelding Bolt.
I really don't want it touching me.
GM: The wight reaches out to touch you and ... (rolls nat 20)...critical hit!
Player A: Oh, man, he grabbed you in the ball sack!
Player B: Yeah, man, he's level-draining your future generations. Your babies are going to be born with level deficiencies.
Player (to GM): Holy crap! I can't believe you rolled another nat 20!
GM: Hey, somebody has to live in the shallow end of the bell curve.
What's the bear doin'? Lickin' his balls?
Taste it, I tell you!
(Honestly, this sound bite had nothing to do with the preceding one. It occurred 15 minutes later and in an unrelated context.)
She looks pretty hot, for a pog.
The pog in question
New dish: "Vampire julienne."
(All that was left after Nosphryc and his undead-killing sword got done with the monster)