Monday, October 13, 2014

Adventure Sound Bites

"I nearly got sucked to death. It's not nearly as interesting as you think, though. It was stirges."

"I see what part of the goblin?"

"Always turn your cell phone OFF before entering the dungeon!"

"As long as you're using my bandwidth you'll live by my rules! If you want more bandwidth, get a job!"

"World of Warcraft. It was the gift that kept on taking."

GM: "To your left you see a goblin."
Player: "I feed him an arrow!"

"I'll use my jazz hands of death!"

GM to Player A: "Make an Athletics check."
Player B to Player A: "I support you!"
(think about it...)

GM: "You get hit with an arrow and drop to zero hit points."
Player: "Arrgghhh! That was my favorite spleen!"

"Who's the dead guy next to me?"

Player A: "I don't want my body defiled by an owlbear."
Player B: "What do you want it defiled by?"

D&D Fun Fact:
Most people don't know that Gary and Dave spent a whole weekend
watching public service announcements before creating the owlbear.

"James Brown rallies the party – 'Get up!' "

"He's diatribic. So he has to take insolence shots."
(What do you expect when the players are confronted with an evil trash-talking elf?)


  1. Think I'll have to try those Jazz hands of death!!!! It could be fun!

  2. Phone or no phone, with all of that armor you must be wearing, I can't see how you guys could possibly be discreet in a dungeon... =)

    1. Shuffle, shuffle, clink, shuffle, shuffle, clank, shuffle, shuffle...

  3. I did have to think about it ... duh.

    1. That's okay -- it took a while for it to sink in with some of us when it was first said. :)

  4. Man, just when you think they've hit an all-time low of punnery.

    1. Our group is kind of like a megadungeon in which every poor joke is corridor, and every bad pun is a room. There's just no end to them. And we always seem to go just another level lower.